Thursday, November 13, 2014

Diagnosed.

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November 13, Thursday

I've been staying at home for the whole day. been not feeling well from the day my grandpa was gone. but i am quite good on keep eating even if it is painful. lol.
Sore throat is not a new thing from me.
from shs 3 i've been having sore throat as often as my period. well, it is followed by fever and sometimes severe headache. I'm still okay until that day my grandpa passed away and my dad is not in town. i was in terrible flu and started developing difficulties in swallowing. Usually, whenever i have sore throat, i want to eat everything coldly. it may sound weird but i liked it that way!
So, this time when it strikes on again, it is so different from usual one. like previously i would love to eat cold-served food but this time i won't even dare to drink it. To cut the long story short, my parents decided to bring me to the ENT doctor. I was not familiar to that doctor also i was quite nervous wtf.
I hate doctor as much as i hate eating medicine. I never eat medicine regularly. don't tell my dad ok.
We have sort of that family doctor simply because he was living next to our door only. but he is not a specialist. what can i do.

Last night we went to otolaryngologist and he said that it is not a simply sore throat but it is tonsillitis and it is ..... not in a good state anymore. HE ASKED ME TO DO THE OPERATION. tonsils need to be removed unless it will cause harm to other organs. sounds so creepy..
 i may watch medical dramas and not feel afraid of them but when it comes to my own body i want to die liao even by imagining it only.

He prescribed 4 kinds of medicine and they are super expensive but they worked effectively. cannot run liao, this time must finish the medicines.
Actually i am not afraid of the operation but i cannot imagine my life after operation. what to do.. I will not have local anesthesia and need to stay at the hospital for 3 days. Aih, God bless me ah..
that was according to this local doctor.
mommy would like to have me to check it one more time at Penang. SO SAD LAH HOW COME TRAVEL TO PENANG BUT CANNOT EAT ANYTHING DELICIOUS. i could if i would.. but what if after that i cannot even speak anymore.

sure one can be slim if like this..


drafting this post! it will be posted if i know already what the penang doctor diagnosed me as. although i have the feeling that it would be the same..


Wednesday, November 12, 2014

My First Time

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This post i dedicated to the bestest grand father ever.

hi.
well, i hesitate around five mins already and checked my phone, Da Ge made a new chat room on our family group on BBM "All about Kong-kong's memory and legacy." It seems like most of our famzie still cannot move on. It has been two weeks. wow, exactly two weeks..
I think i might cancel writing this post again.
or i might not.


It is not that i am not happy that you don't need to struggle with the pain anymore but still.. this is my first time losing someone who had a big part in my life and i manage to control my feelings.. sometimes..


when i was little, we lived together.
i could remember my first time breaking the glass of the cupboard, i ran into my mom and cried, what you did was laugh and said " don't cry! come.. come.. kong kong love.."

every time we went out together, i would be the one that sit on your lap.

you're the one that i would ran into if i made mistakes. firstly you will let me hide but when it's the time, you would ask me to apologize..

whenever i want to watch tv, you will never get tired to remind me to sit six tiles back and enjoy my movie.

i often found you exercising in our living room early in the morning every weekend and if i cannot find you, i can sneakily go into your bedroom and found that you're doing exercising also. i love it when you're exercising in our living room, you would talk about how much you love me and i am the one that you categorized as the "gold" but later on you said that i am your "diamond" lol i don't really care about the title anyway.


when i grew up, you spent your time more in Tanjung Balai rather than in Medan but whenever knowing you had arrived, i would eventually dropped all of my things and run downstairs to see what you have brought for us! usually it would be fishes, crackers, and biscuits.

I remembered we did argue who get to watch the TV in our living room. you said that you would like to watch your movie and i kinda upset and went upstairs, but then you called me down and said i may have the TV.

You love to stock the Coca Cola, chocolates, and ice creams at home which turns out to be your favs when you're old.

That time, i went to Tanjung Balai and stayed at your house. I could recall your happy face and going out by your vespa to get us some breakie.

I also get to realise that almost the whole Tanjung Balai know and appreciate you very much. I hear stories from grandma also..


So there was one fine day, grandma fell off the bathroom in Tanjung Balai and the next day, you and grandma immediately come back to Medan. as usual, i ran downstairs and greet you, then grandma is tearing apart.. and what you told us was to leave her alone first..

You're such a wise and loving grandpa.

I love you.


xx,
dian,